what did you just say?

Seriously.  You do not want to.   In fact, just scroll down on the right side there and see what Miss Picket is up to or check out Cake Wrecks, OK?

Why are you still reading?  Is it because you are just dying to know what I have been up to this last week? Well,  I’ll tell you what I was doing.  I was at a magic farm filled with puppies and kittens and little fluffy yellow chicks frolicking around.  I slept until noon every day.  I woke when the puppies danced on my head and licked my face.   I had massages, ate at fabulous restaurants and went clubbing each night with the cast of Gossip Girl.

Not buying it?  

OK fine.  I have been home on my ass with a bag of ice on top my knee and 2 pillows underneath it either on my bed or the giant chair in the living room for seven days straight in excruciating pain.  Every couple of hours I do a monkey hobble on my crutches to the bathroom, but that’s pretty much it.  I did manage to get out for a few hours on Thanksgiving to go to my father-in-law and his girlfriend’s place where the guest all took turns showing me the various ways to wrap and ice an injury.  2 glasses of wine and I fell asleep on the couch.  Oh, and I’ve been to the doctor’s office twice.  Once after that last entry.  Apparently there wasn’t supposed to be any blood.  So we went in (seriously, stop reading) and he removed the bandages and I proceeded to ooze.  It was very X-Filesy with this “dark liquid” running down my leg.  Needless to say they bandaged me up and all was well.  Or was it?

Nope.

For the past 3 days it was so swollen I felt like I was carrying a bowling ball on my knee cap.  So today I went back to the doctor and they drained it.  And there was A LOT of “fluid”.  Which I like to think of as clear, clean water – not the bloody gunk that I caught I glimpse of.  So a couple more days off my leg and hopefully I’ll be back in business and can cavort with you all vertically once again.

A big shout out to the hubby and the Nashman for taking excellent care of me.  They’ve both gone above and beyond.  I nearly squeezed Jeff’s hand off today during the never ending fluid extraction.  He’s been an excellent chauffer and drug runner (vicodin kicks percoset’s ass) and constantly makes sure that I have everything I need.  And Nash has been an angel.  One night I was sleeping with him in his room and woke up in the middle of the night in so much pain.  I was crying and he woke up and I asked him to go downstairs and get me the peas from the freezer.  He marched right down the stairs in the dark and got them for me.   We thought it was only going to be a few days, but as it continues to stretch on, they continue to give me all the love and support I need and I can’t thank them enough.  

So if you’ve made it this far, you’re clearly just asking for what’s next.  Here’s the good knee:

Nothing to brag about.  Pretty average looking as far as knees go, right?  Well here’s the bad one.  Click to enlarge if really you must you twisted little freaks….